I am not the kind of person who likes crowds. If you have known me long, you probably find this bit of information shocking. So. Very. Shocking. Truth be told, I do enjoy spending time with others having mutual interests. From playing games at the kitchen table to sharing a meal, I like interacting with good people. I usually feel awkward which, in turns, probably makes me come off as awkward. That bit is tiring. But it is worth it. Even if we only share a brief conversation, every one of the people I meet help to color my world.
In A Crowd
Networking events are rough, especially when I am going it alone. That said, once I “break through”, they usually aren’t so bad. Just don’t expect this human lampstand to move towards the middle of the room. At a baseball game or music concert, even among thousands of people, I manage to isolate myself by focusing on the field and the few people around me. The less forward I feel I must be to be included, the better off I am.
In Small Groups
Once the mouth starts running, it is hard to stop. I grew up in a family that “cross-talks”. A room full of people get together and there are three conversations happening. You have to break in to be included and, well, I was taught not to interrupt. Ironically, if you aren’t taking part in the conversation, some will think you are ignoring them. Here I am just trying not to say something stupid and give your words the respect they deserve. If I am rambling, it means one of two things: We have strong, mutual interests or I’m trying to feel that awkward silence that is best left alone.
Color My World A Bit More
If I seem stand-offish at times, it is usually because I don’t know what to say. Or if I should say anything at all. But every one of you that I have met have added something to my life. In this sense, the internet is both a blessing and a curse. Without it, I would not have met some true and fast friends. I likely would never have taken up photography like I have. And picking up the camera is how I have met so many wonderful people. The curse is that I really don’t care for what social media has become, but that’s another story.
I do a terrible job of telling people how much I appreciate them. I have met some truly amazing people. You are very likely one of them. I just don’t share well, especially with casual acquaintances. For now, take James Pankow’s lyrics for Colour My World* and know that I appreciate you for who you are.
* If you haven’t seen Chicago perform live but you enjoy their music, it is a must. Go! Do it!
